I'm bored.................................................
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Client board meeting..
Failing to finish a game of Mah-Jong
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that means im multi-shirking
am also wondering if i should work out ROI of my MBA
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So that's...
Bored
Board meeting
Board game
Skee bo read
Skeebo red (with shame at awful ROI of MBA)
I'm on the train home :-)
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.....and I'm still twiddling my thumbs.
Meant to be in South America. New project. Flight cancelled due to snow last weekend. Then add client delay. Still waiting..........
Not that I'm complaining, I quiet enjoy twiddling my thumbs.
But boredom is bad. Muahahahaha..... an idle mind is the devil's workshop :) Muahahahahahaha!!!
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Make the most of it. Better than living out of a suitcase and doing solitary all-nighters in some far flung corner of the planet, just to fund the extravagant lifestyles of those further up the food chain in your company!
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Bushy Eyebrowed Partner - how bushy are your eyebrows? I have visions of a cross between Einstein and Doc Brown from BTTF. Have you ever found your eyebrows stood in the way of promotion - or even helped? I hope to god you are a man btw...
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I hope to god you are a man btw...
LOL! ROFL! This bit made my day :)
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Well.. think Alastair Darling and Norman Lamont crossed with Ming the Merciless from Flash Gordon. ;)
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Make the most of it. Better than living out of a suitcase and doing solitary all-nighters in some far flung corner of the planet, just to fund the extravagant lifestyles of those further up the food chain in your company!
Tell me about it! Will never make partner here. They prefer me to do proposals, use my contacts to win projects, then travel to manage projects.
The only positive thing is..... I get to do what I want and no one really bugs me (plus, the £££ is good).
Am trying to get back into industry, even if it's a few steps backwards with lower pay. I believe I will enjoy it more, get to spend more time at home, etc.
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Alert the media!
Senior figure at consultancy firm declares himself "not on track to make partner"
Must be first...
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I think this is the problem with those getting into MC from industry. Will leave it at that, if not, will start a long moan.
Started out in industry for many a year, so am reasonably well entrenched. Then, I made the mistake of getting into MC to "add value". LOL!
Being a mongrel, I have the misfortune of being able to speak more languages that I can count with my fingers. Coupled with the above, this means constantly facing clients, all over the place.
LOL! Damn, I did moan in the end!
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Sat in a hotel lobby waiting for taxi in Riyadh. Arrived 3 am this morning 3 hours sleep. Off to see new client - oh the joy. At least its sunny and 26c - times like this i think what would Marty do.?
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Not sure who Marty is, but I expect he'd get onto monster.com if his current employer is sending him to dodgy middle east places on 3am flights.
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Ah
But now finished early and got 2 days in Dubai on a beach front hotel and 26c and sunny. Believe you got rid of snow over there and now have wind and rain?
BTW I meant Marty from House of lies
DTC
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Wondering if I should take that killer role to get promoted to the next level or jack it all in and join the contracting bandwagon. "West Wing Consulting" has a nice ring to it...
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The usual. Chair, bum; desk, laptop.
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What level?
Senior Manager
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Probably. Personal opinion only, but I find C2/C3s make good hires because they are well traIned and polished. SM's tend to have genuine achievements and decent decision making roles behind them.
Everything else in between tends to have too much polish and not enough achievement. SM would move you out of the herd.
You owe me 2p
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Probably. Personal opinion only, but I find C2/C3s make good hires because they are well traIned and polished. SM's tend to have genuine achievements and decent decision making roles behind them.
Everything else in between tends to have too much polish and not enough achievement. SM would move you out of the herd.
You owe me 2p
That's the bit I keep getting differing opinions on. Given I'm M3 now it's really just a case of getting my head down and pushing for a year to get SM but in reality it would just be 1 more role on my CV...was wondering if there was a direct(ish) correlation between level left at and contract day rate.
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Absolutely no correlation between level (grade) you leave at and rate you will achieve. the rates in contracting are based on:
1. Project role
2. Project size/budget
3. Client industry
4. Niche subject matter knowledge
5. Geographical llocation
Making SM would make you stand out from the herd in permanent employment opportunities, but the project role you have played over the last three years will generate your entry point into contracting and after a few years in contracting your perm background will be but pretty wallpaper.
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Absolutely no correlation between level (grade) you leave at and rate you will achieve. the rates in contracting are based on:
1. Project role
2. Project size/budget
3. Client industry
4. Niche subject matter knowledge
5. Geographical llocation
Making SM would make you stand out from the herd in permanent employment opportunities, but the project role you have played over the last three years will generate your entry point into contracting and after a few years in contracting your perm background will be but pretty wallpaper.
Good - that aligns with advice I've had from other quarters too! Have 4p!
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Detoilet - you don't need a Consultant to "format a few decks" for you do you? Or anything else for that matter.
Been on the bench for a few weeks and I'm going crazy - only so much, bids, training and PD I can do.
Help - pls?
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Wow! My thread has garnered 25 posts! I'm so happy :)
P.S. If anyone is in Brazil, do give me a shout.
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@ Bravehearted
A few weeks bench sounds great to me. Believe it or not it rained in Dubai - taxi driver said to me it was only the 3rd time he had seen this in 3 years !
Which bizarely could lead me to another thread - whats the strangest thing a taxi driver has asked - this is what I got
where are you from sir
UK I say
Is Spain there ?
So only got back Sat and now off to Belgium - enjoy it whilst you can
As for having people along with me unfortunately only one person on here could have come:-
Was it Mars ? - no he would have melted
Was it Bushy - he'd be to hot unless he got trimmed
Leaving Mr Cool (he was too busy) - it was sunny my first day and a sun bed next was free next to some posh totty - I'm sure they were headhunters - strangely they wanted paying up front - even more ruthless over there than here !
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Haha doesn't sound too bad.
I've only recently joined having been off on a jolly for a few months. So believe it or not, I'm itching to get back in the swing of things.
Still, ping me if you know any roles going.
Happy to take offline.
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After a very busy weekend I am currently reading TC while ignoring some of the more mundane elements of my role and waiting for Friday when I am off to Dublin. Semi comatose probably best describes my state currently.
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#30
Come on guys, make more posts to this thread!
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Was there an episode of House of Lies last Sunday?
Man, I've been behind..... need to check!
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Talking to yourself is cheating
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Not really. I was just thinking out loud.
BEP is rather quiet...............
Edit: The target is to hit 50 by the end of this week. If everyone chips in with, I am sure we will be able to achieve this in no time.
Would be nice if each post had some 'value' - lol! In anything really.
I can then feel a bit proud of this achievement. Can put it in my CV. ROFL!!!
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FFS! Can some post something interesting here!
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Today I am going to be on a conference call and intend to join it from my mobile phone with headphones on as I go about more interesting activities (ever wondered who that guy is on the conference calls who takes a leak? well now you know) lol
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ROFL always reminds me of something Scooby Doo would say...
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Trying to decide whether or not to take a 2 year move to dubai.
Pros - sounds good
Cons - it's hot and I haven't thought it through at all (and am potentially going in 6 weeks)
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Having finally had the all clear from the hospital that I didnt suffer any lasting damage from a recent motorcycle accident, I find today that the motorcycle is a write-off. As I was reliant on it for commuting that also puts my job in jeaopardy.
Oh and had a client meeting, ate 3 biscuits (2 x hob nob sort of things I couldnt identify and 1 shortbread which was much nicer).
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mars, sorry to hear about the motorbike, its things like that which really do make me think twice before going for my mod 2 (again - failed it the first time because the examiner said i went through a roundabout when i should have stopped.. personally with dozens of years of driving experience i think it was just fine actually but then again he's the examiner so who am i to argue).
the bike can be replaced... annoying but u still have your health which is the main thing
:)
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BEP, I believe modern etiquette is that anything before the flush should be on mute. The flush is a useful way of saying ..." Hi I'm back on the call!"
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Mars,
Sorry to hear that, mate. Am glad you're fine.
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Thanks guys - appreciated.
Sadly the accident was a direct consequence of being required to work from the office despite near lethal road conditions for motorcyclists. I am no in a dispute with my employer who is denying any liability for the loss.
Very frustrating!
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Call da underdog
"No matter how serious your injury, there’s no need to feel like the underdog when it comes to seeking compensation."
or BGR bloomer hehe
They should have let you work from home if it was snowing/icy and they know you come to work via motorcycle
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I now have 5 months left babysitting a programme of work that is only taking up 60ish% of my time, but allows me to bill fulltime. How should I fill the rest of my days? I have three ideas:
1) Launch a new company providing a niche service to mid-size MC firms. Could turn over about 150k/50k profit. Will need 1 employee.
2) write a drama screenplay. Pure fun, 0.1% chance of ever being filmed. Ticks a "life box"
3) turn the title "Biting Pillows: Taking one for the Team" into a real book about management consultancy. Estimated sales of 5 e-books.
4) some other get-rich-quick scheme or life enhancing activity
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turn the title "Biting Pillows: Taking one for the Team" into a real book about management consultancy. Estimated sales of 5 e-books.
set up website advertising Biting Pillows and perhaps other titles of a similar clarity and see how many desperate grads email you asking if it is available in their local Waterstones.
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Yes, I for one would seriously actually buy a copy of said book
A must-read for all MCs and MC-wannabes
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I just want to make Camster happy and be officially recognised as No 50 poster meeting his target :-)
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Haha he's giddy - you'd think he didn't have a day job servicing clients.
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Woohoo! What a milestone! Thanks DC :)
Onwards and upwards. Let's try for 100.
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This thread has the most number of posts!
Get involved!
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Hold on a mo, there's a post from Feb 2009 about Accenture Redundancies that has 165 posts!
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Hmmm. I remember poor old Peter Shilton whining when it looked for a while like David Beckham was going to overhaul his record for England caps by coming on as a sub in the last five minutes of a series of glamour friendlies. Shilton had amassed his 120+ caps by playing all ninety minutes AND for a few years had to "alternate" with Ray Clemence cos the England manager couldn't decide who was better.
C'mon Camster, you need to re-invent the thread with proper content. Can't just "bump" and talk to yourself all the up to 166 posts
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Top thread of the month though :)
So.....
The UK economy is stalling.... yet again. EU is no better shape.
If you have an engagement which goes, "Revive the economy", how would you do it?
I'll start. There is a limit to what actions like QE can do. Am a big proponent of "Empower the Employee" or in this case, "Empower the People".
Right now, we need confidence and optimism. We need growth. Investment. Etc. The one sure-fire way to instill a 'feel-good', well, feeling, is to..... announce a tax-free year.
Yup, looking at the UK market, a tax-free year for employees will do wonders. Irrespective of how people choose to spend it, or not, it will inject a boost - in every sense of the word.
Boy George is wrong to stick to his half-hearted austerity programme. One only needs to look at the breakdown of the Gov's tax receipt and spending to see that the suggestion above is very valid.
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Why not make holidays to Greece, Cyprus, Italy and Spain a deduction against income tax, so long as they are booked through UK registered travel companies that pay tax in the UK.
Travel agencies, airlines etc get the bulk of the money, local bars and restaurants get a boost. Brits get some feelgood sun, sand and $ex.
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I'll try that again.
With a tax-holiday year, people will be at least 20% (lowest tax band) well off.
If they spend it, it boosts the Uk economy. If they don't spend it (say, save or pay down debts), it strengthens bank's balance sheets.
375B wasted on QE. Only now, doing that "funding for lending".
A tax-holiday would have been best. Would have even allowed for deeper cuts.
P.S. And this thread remains the most popular :)
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How about, instead of a tax holiday year per se, a year wherein everyone has a tax holiday year on proviso they enter into peer-to-peer lending arrangements (perhaps through some agreed P2P lending firms) - stimulate investment, shut out the banks just enough for a hard slap on the face, move some money around the economy.
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And just came across something really useful - the only rule of life one will ever need. EVER.
Rule:
All you need in life is duct tape and WD-40. If it moves and shouldnt use the duct tape. If it doesnt and should use the WD-40.
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Camster
Ever thoought of just starting your own blog ? What Camster is doing today ? What we need here is a top MBB statistician to work on the trajectory of when you'll make 266 or what ever it was. It must be at least O level for this way over DC's head.
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Oh, bear with me :) Don't want a blog - just the top thread - hehehe.
I go into the client office here in SP, and everyday, I see gorgeous women, left right and centre. Especially so within this dept.
If you get the chance to be in Brazil, don't hesitate.
OK then, up bright and early, time for my Insanity workout.
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Typing for no other reason then to aid your cause.
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Is there anything wrong with that? :)
I have a question. If the world is a stage, are we then the players upon it? Or the audience?
If we are deemed to be both, then surely a certain Mr. Shakespeare was wrong. Or at least not entirely right.
Just wondering.....
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All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages.
At first, the infant,mewling and puking in the nurse's arms.
Then the whining schoolboy, with his satchel and shining morning face, creeping like a snail unwillingly to school.
And then the lover,sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
made to his mistress' eyebrow.
Then a soldier, full of strange oaths and bearded like the pard,
jealous in honor, sudden and quick in quarrel, seeking the bubble reputation even in the cannon's mouth.
And then the justice, in fair round belly with good capon lined, with eyes severe and beard of formal cut, full of wise saws and modern instances;
And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts into the lean and slippered pantaloon, with spectacles on nose and pouch on side;
his youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide for his shrunk shank, and his big manly voice, turning again toward childish treble, pipes and whistles in his sound. Last scene of all, that ends this strange eventful history, is second childishness and mere oblivion, sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.
Wonderful.
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If "All the world's a stage" then why is the lighting so predictable and "fade in - fade out" sort of thing. ?
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And where is the background music? When I get up in the morning and put on my shirt, where is Right Said Fred?!
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Here's the background music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UT6h7Sfn4bc
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Don't you play your own soundtrack? I always carry a small mp3 and portable speakers to all my big meetings. The number if times I've had a negotiation showdown with suppliers with "eye if the tiger" spurring me on ....
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I prefer
'another one bites the dust' Queen or 'f**king hostile' Pantera depending on the stage of negotiations
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LOL mars, that and seasick steve - where do you find these gems?
I think the leader in the area of having her own personal theme tune is Her Majesty the Queen. Forget MP3 players, she takes a whole brass band around with her. Old skool
This one summarises a sales pitch I was in yesterday: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F1xxHQBIITA
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What can I say Bushy, I'm an eccelectic person with ecclectic tastes.
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Turning up late to a meeting I often have the Pink Panther theme being played whilst creeping in.
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Just for Camster..
Elevator music
Butter in my ears
Think I'm gonna die
Just the pilot changing gear
Wanna watch the move
Can't sit still
Flying down to Rio
Going to Brazil
Motorhead 'Going to Brazil'
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What a great, multi-purpose thread :)
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Just realised I've not posted anything on here all day, and I'm in meetings all day tomorrow.
I'd love to correct this by posting some amiable but pointless post, perhaps to the really long thread Camster started, but I'm struggling to find the time to post an inane posting. If I can just find time in my day to do so all will be well.
And it is. Hot x buns all round on the estate.
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Post #80! :)
What's the job market like in the UK now? ANy improvement?
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Post #81.
Personally, I think it's the same as it always was i.e. always room for excellent people to move jobs.
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Just thought i'd post since no one else has for a couple of days. Vicki Pryce what a babe and is out for Camster!
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Well, I've been spending the last few days and will be spending today submerged in some glamourous Public Sector (note how I capitalise it) work. Dealing with clients that can't follow a process and act like loose cannons. We're trying to negotiate a contract with a supplier, and can you believe the plonkers have actually allowed random members of their staff to contact the supplier directly to "check whether they're still interested" on certain things "because they have by far the best solution in that area" (a core element of our negotiating strategy being that they are NOT to know they are the preferred supplier)!!! Some of them have started having little side conversations with the client and I believe one particular head of department has even agreed to a meeting!! So now we have a supplier that knows they are the preferred option, is copiously urinating over the procurement process because of a weak-willed client that has no common sense whatsoever, and the supplier is now "demanding" certain changes to our process, mainly in areas that means THEY end up calling all the shots and the client loses control of the project scope and costs. I just can't believe some people. No sense and no discipline either. I've explaind on numerous times that ALL and ANY questions or correspondence from last week onwards MUST go through a single point of contact at our end. But still, like a bunch of undisciplined hyenas, they just can't do it. No strength in their line management and I certainly don't have any power there to stop people doing it (if I did, certain people would already have meetings lined up with HR). Unbelievable. Still, TGIF eh?
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Currently in 5th spot overall. Unsure this will make it to top spot!
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It an absolute disgrace that this thread is clearly destined to break the magic 100 post barrier.
I propose that we all stop posting absolutely pointless inane comments on this thread immediately.
Let me know if you are with me on this....
(looking forward to a "transatlantic whoosh")
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#85 Cool,
Unfortunately, I do not share your sentiment. This thread provokes thought on the very issues that we face as consultants. This can be anything from boredom while on the bench (how the thread started), through questions of the job market in the UK, to deep discussions of Shakespeare's work (i.e. how essential the ability to tell a story really is).
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Posts with no meaning. Pointless.
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Meaning not posted. Wasted thought.
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Mars, have a good weekend. And to all you guys as well.
I know I will be wasted this weekend - lol!
P.S. This is a great example of a pointless post :) Apart from the greeting that is. Hmmm.... does it mean that it's not so pointless then?
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I'm number 90 - I'm number 90 ! ! !.........OH and also number 50 !!
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Argh - stop posting. Please join me in registering your displeasure by posting a post saying we should all stop posting.
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VERY disappointed not to have had a transatlantic whoosh by now...!
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Mr Cool, it goes to show that this is a very cool thread :p
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Hi everyone! Have a good day. A happy client makes me a happy bunny, as in no need to put up with nonsense and whining - lol. Hope everyone will enjoy the rest of the week.
P.S This useless post brings it to #95. When it hits 100, drinks are on me (when back in the UK).
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Only one thing for it now that drinks are promised
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As soon as possible sorry Mr Cool
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And for post 100 yihaaa - will be dissapointed if this isn't 100 - actually devistated if Mars or Mr Cool has stepped in for the accolade given Camster is in Brazil I thought I'd tell my favourite Brazil story.
George Bush is woken up in the middle of the night by his aides and told of a serious incident.
Mr President sorrry to wake you up - but we have bad news from the UN in Libya
Oh what is it then George says yawning.
Aide - a report has come in that there is at least one Brazilian dean in Tripolli
Wow !! thats a huge and terrible loss of life - Bush is shocked !
He then pulls himself together and says - Exactly how many is in a Brazilian again ? :-)
DC roll on 200 - this can only get worse I think
Now we wait for the transatlantic whoosh of achievement over to you Camster
ps I also got #50
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Im calling this post Room 101
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Are we there yet? Are weeeee? Wheeeeennn?
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Damn! I thought I put it as 200. But that's fine. We can have another session when it touches 200.
Am back for a few days over Easter. I assume ppl are are mostly in London? If someone suggests a place, we can have our Top-Consultant.com forum do then. I like this place called The Warwick, on Glasshouse St., near Pic Circus.
Better make use of this opportunity, I'm not usually this generous - rofl!
Finally! A good week! And good numbers to close the quarter :)
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Ppl, are we having this drinks do?
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Real drinks or e-drinks?
PS Im not sure what the latter is.
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Another year older, none the wiser.........
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It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
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110 posts and counting.....
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I want to be a football manager.
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Managing a team like Bristol City.
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Id like to manage Burton Albion.
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I'd like to be a manager in the public sector earning £0.25M+ with pension and other benefits!
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Next Tuesday and Wednesday I'll be managing Blackburn rovers
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'Google' is both a noun and a verb. I wonder if it's the same for 'xerox'?
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Google = number 1 with a hundred 0's
Xerox = number 0 with no one
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Mars, that's a googol.
And this brings is to post number 118. I just love that annoying ad. 118 118 - lol!
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I know that Camster but wouldnt have been a joke if I'd used the correct spelling.
Wasnt funny anyway though..
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LOL! I know. It wasn't funny :)
Amyway, another random post to bring it to 120.
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And Camster just for you on post 121 - used to be a telecom company did they not? And » sponsored Everton from memory
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DC! My man! What's new?
Looks like they rejected my application to be Reading manager. Oh well.....
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Did you know post 123 is the numbers 1,2 and 3 in order.
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Hi Tom1
wow you're correct they do. But did you notice that if you start with No1 double it you get 2 and if you double this you get 4. Put them together 124 on post 124. Amazing.
@Camster Keep in there you don't want to work for a Spanish Co anyway. I'm also looking - got a few internal interviews lined up. Wife wants to leave me and to make matters worse wants to take the dog !
DC
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sorry to hear that DC - hope your home troubles wont hamper your internal interviews
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@Tom and DC,
Wow! I never cease to learn new things on here. Thanks guys :)
DC, sorry to hear that. If you need anything, don't hesitate.....
Easter offer still open, so if ppl ar free, would be good to to meet up sometime next week. Good to finally put face to name. Especially BEP :)
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what you all doing for Easter you crazy diamonds you?
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A lot of drinking, I hope. you?
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See family (usually get to see them about once or twice a year).
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Early Easter present!
I received an e-mail for a role I applied some time back, in early January I think. Phone chat was arranged, which I feel went well.
I then received a very unexpected call from an old friend. They want me to join them at, let's just say M & McL group. Seems like sorted.
Was rather chuffed. Told the first company that I am no longer available. That's just me, I don't like to mess around and only apply for 1 at a time.
Then..... I hear back that the 2nd one, there's a problem. Couldn't get sign-off.
So... it's back to square one! Wonderful Easter present. But's it's still Lent, isnt it? So I guess a bit more suffering for me - lol!
Un-effin-believable. Second time now in 2013.
I need a drink! Or 10! Anyway, gonna start packing up, heading back today.
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Grand National time!
Am still around for this, so any tips? I scanned the list of runners, and "Ninetieth Minute" caught my eye. Why? Simple. Man. Utd. score a lot of 90th minute goals. LOL!
Remember, this is a multi-purpose thread.
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Camster as this is a multi-purpose thread I would like to contibute some multi-purpose answers in case appropriate questions arise at some point:
White 1 sugar
Spelt with a silent A
Not under any circumstances will I lower myself and risk my dignity, self respect, skew my moral compass and demean every principle I hold dear as a cornerstone of my life and the lives of all my future decendents, both current and potential, for less than £500 day rate.
Face like a rictus of rapture.
68% or thereabouts
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Mars,
Well done! :)
P.S. It's rather quiet on here. I'm bored again. Time to have a Bud I guess.
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Following on, here are my responses in case anyone asks...
To be honest, I do that most Tuesdays.
No, I'd never do that to a monkey.
You seriously want me to answer that?
I am job.
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These multi-purpose answers are great - I already feel more prepped for whatever questions the world may throw at me.
We need more!
And that both a multi-functional statement and a multi-functional answer, with inherent versatility as standard. Just one of a number of value adding benefits.
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What a wonderful forum with wonderful people.
P.S. Nope, I'm not posting random messages to bump up this thread's ranking.
Edit: Just noticed that it has been the top thread since January. Well done.
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I think we are only 27 away.. wait that makes this 26 away from top spot...
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Time then for ...
multi-purpose colours!
Errr...
Eggshell
Aqua
Wheatfield Sunrise
Turbo
Prepubescent hangover
Ok I made up Turbo.
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No, I'd never do that to a monkey
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I am always detailed and descriptive.
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I like this thread.
Been a lurker for months but this is the thread that actually got me to sign up.
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To be honest, I do that most Tuesdays.
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thinking of taking it easy this weekend..
ok, maybe just tonight i'll got out and have a few drinks but i'm staying in next 2 days ....i have to focus on getting my act together..
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Camster as this is a multi-purpose thread I would like to contibute some multi-purpose answers in case appropriate questions arise at some point:
White 1 sugar
Spelt with a silent A
Not under any circumstances will I lower myself and risk my dignity, self respect, skew my moral compass and demean every principle I hold dear as a cornerstone of my life and the lives of all my future decendents, both current and potential, for less than £500 day rate.
Face like a rictus of rapture.
68% or thereabouts
Mars - I've been meaning to ask you...
Whats the shortest recipe for meringue you've come across?
How do you like your cocoa in the evening?
What kind of package would you be looking for to work at Michael Page?
Given your knowledge of MBB firms, how do you think they would have responded to a brief from the Co-op for a name for their new .com banking offering
What percentage of the world's consultants can be covered with "what, er...?"
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Haha very good! Particularly the Cocoa one
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Y'see Cool? This is why multipurpose answers are so useful.
I rest my case. Which is, incidentally, also a multifunctional answer.
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I like this thread.
Been a lurker for months but this is the thread that actually got me to sign up.
wannabembb,
Thanks for making my day :)
P.S. Cool, great questions! :)
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Hello people,
And we hit the magical 150 number!
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wannabembb,
Thanks for making my day :)
P.S. Cool, great questions! :)
Camster,
Do not mention it. Big fan.
But on a more serious note, we need more of these light-hearted threads where a surprising amount of insight around consulting often comes out.
One more great question - How to get into consulting?
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wannabembb,
Thanks for making my day :)
P.S. Cool, great questions! :)
Camster,
Do not mention it. Big fan.
But on a more serious note, we need more of these light-hearted threads where a surprising amount of insight around consulting often comes out.
One more great question - How to get into consulting?
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I'm interested to get into consulting. My whole life I've dreamed of being a management consusltant. Can you tell me what consulting is?
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Can you tell me what consulting is?
Tom you will breathe new life into this thread. Because you are asking the wrong question of course. What you should be asking is what is consultancy not?
Consultancy is not landscape gardening.
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what is consultancy not?
It's not Cricket.
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Consultancy is not euthanasia. Wait.. am I doing this the right way round?
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What's everyone up to?
For the fiftieth time this week, I moved little men about on a programme governance structure slide. Sigh..
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Post #159.....
What are your thoughts re. the Alfa 159?
My first far was an Alfa 155. BTCC champion in 1994 and 1995 :)
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Crikey things are just so...y'know...thingy..
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The 155 was not the most reliable of cars, but it handled well, it crashes well, and 2.5 V6 version was rather spirited.
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On another note, I was just thinking about how the Masters is like a consulting engagement.
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And I was just thinking how the Masters is like recruitment what with all this talk of 'the green', balls getting hit err...ummm...the brain concaving mundanity..
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I'm bored but contractually obliged to physically attend a dull meeting where everyone else is clearly playing on their smartphone...
more random pre-prepared answers please. My contribution:
"It went off in his pocket"
"A pair of dimes"
"It went in dirty and came out clean"
??????????????
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I was just about to ask you these as well:
"Has anyone seen the ketchup packet I've been storing? I seem to recall Boris Johnson taking it"
"Im sorry, we've run out of KitKats. What other chocolate bar would you like?"
"Have you heard the joke about the male prostitute and the nun?"
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Hoorraaaayy! Boredom temporarily relieved....
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tom1 - inspired by your questions, I have now taken to inventing my own jokes.
A management consultant goes into his local corner shop. He overhears the manager complain to his assistant that no own seems to be interested in his new line in dinosaur magazines. The consultant explains to the owner the basic concepts of cross -selling and suggests he tries moving the new magazines from the magazine rack of predominantly gossip magazines, to the area of the shop filled with cheap plastic toys.
The next day the consultant goes back to the shop and the owner is delighted to tell him that his entire stock of dinosaur magazines has been sold to mums who have come into the shop with small boys who normally pass their time browsing through the cheap plastic toys. The owner begs the consultant for further advice, asking him how best to get rid of a large stock of chocolate bars that are nearing their sell-by date. The consultant explains the concept of placing the product to encourage impulse buying along with a short lecture on the importance of pricing appropriately.
The next day the consultant returns to find a delighted owner who has cleared out all of his old chocolate. To his consternation the only items left are two Dime bars and no matter how much the shopkeeper discounts them and no matter how prominently he places them in the shop, no one seems to want to buy them.
The consultant smiles and explains that although he has often read about the concept, and many of his colleagues talk endlessly about it, he has never actually seen a pair of dimes shift.
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I may of stole this but it made me smile...
A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts, "Excuse me. Can you help me? I promised my friend I would meet him half an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The man below says, "Yes, you are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 40 feet above this field. You are between 46 & 48 degrees N latitude and between 52 & 56 degrees W. longitude."
"You must be an engineer," says the balloonist.
"I am," replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct but I have no idea what to make of your information and the fact is I am still lost."
The man below says, "You must be a Management Consultant"
"I am," replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well," says the man below, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You have made a promise which you have no idea how to keep and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met but now it is somehow my fault."
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Here's one I copied from the web:
A physician, a civil engineer, and a consultant were arguing about what was the oldest profession in the world.
The physician remarked…
“Well, in the Bible, it says that God created Eve from a rib taken out of Adam. This clearly required surgery, and so I can rightly claim that mine is the oldest profession in the world.”
The civil engineer interrupted, and said…
“But even earlier in the book of Genesis, it states that God created the order of the heavens and the earth from out of the chaos. This was the first and certainly the most spectacular application of civil engineering. Therefore doctor, you are wrong: mine is the oldest profession in the world.”
The consultant smugly leaned back in her chair, smiled, and then said confidently…
“Ah, but who do you think created the chaos?”
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This is a grait post! Hope we reach the top!
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It's Friday, I have one more meeting and then... it's the weekend!
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Friday afternoon meetings. Love them. Especially when they result in tonnes of edits or actions and the next meeting to "review progress" is scheduled for Monday at 9.00am.
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The trick is to always be the 'lead' in the meeting late on Friday. Therefore removing/reducing ones self from all actions.
Weekend = relaxing.
Have a good one!
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Friday afternoon meetings. Love them. Especially when they result in tonnes of edits or actions and the next meeting to "review progress" is scheduled for Monday at 9.00am.
Just got out of a conference call - Just that I was on the receiving end here :-)
Btw Camster - Congratulations on having the longest ever..!
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This thread seems to be losing a little momentum. It needs some new zest, pep, sparkle, life, go, vim and insousiance.
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We could always turn it into a limerick style thread...
There once was a Management Consultant.
*over to the next person for the next line*
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There once was a management consultant
Who was addicted to anticonvulsant
He worked comatosed
From his head to his toes
But his billing was still most abundant
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Haha good work!
Ill give you another.
There once was a girl from McKinsey..
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There once was a girl from McKinsey
Who was hired in a moment of whimsy
She was no good at excel
And nor could she sell
But her clothing was ever so flimsy
-----------
Sorry for delay - had an interview.
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With cockney accent
In brazil there's a telco consultant called camsta
Started a thread which has been spun here like a hamsta
Although most of it is pure bull
It's been resuscitated by 'cool'
But still shunned by mars the top gangsta
Your turn mars !
DC
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True Irish limerick
If you look carefully you'll find top consultants like Arby
He works his butt off in places like Bath
Now although an enigma
He was fab at six ...nations rugby
But always had top PMO called Barbie
Needs a £2k per day VP to refine to make complete sense I guess
DC
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There was a poor worker at Accenture
Who had his own career agenda
he rarely did as was told
he stayed and grew old
and now his suffering from dementia.
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Time to get personal.....
There once was a partner so pushy
He worked himself into a job that was cushy
While his partners were in quorum
He’d make jokes on this forum
About his eyebrows so luscious and bushy
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Personal it is then !
-----------------------------------------------------
It was time for McKinsey to recruit
But their headhunter had just got the boot
Needing someone who could talk bull
They approach our MR Cool
Who is now as pissed as a newt
-----------------------------------------------------
He'd tout for his clients in bars
Where he came across a competitor in Mars
Spotting not a threat with his beady eye
He was only recruiting for crap Gemini
So instead it was wine women and fast cars
-------------------------------------------------------
Pissed it was time for some sushi
Where they met a potential client called bushy
I need 10 mc's said bushy opening the gates
For cool and mars to fight over their rates
So they split it and everything's cushy
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It's windy today said a high browed bushy
Having finished a portion of peas that were mushy
I can smell success
I got big 4 out of a mess
We thinks its Deloitte and toushy
----------------------------------------------------------
Maybe we should rename BEP Ballotelli - why always him!
DC
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We all have a hatred for Suarez
he's more gifted in red than F.Torres
He didn't mean any harm
but he bit of an arm
Now it's just him and his porridge.
Can I get porridge to rhyme with Suarez!?
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To be honest you can only get Suarez and "Tareess" to ryhme if done in a Hollyoaks-actress scouse accent (i.e. not a real one)
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Ah damn it, I knew I was clutching...
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Mr Cool thought this thread was inane
The rest of us, we can’t say the same
194 posts in a row
Only 6 more to go
On to 200 is the name of this game
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Let's try a Haiku...!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bushy eyed partner
Those brows a thing of wonder
Client stares in awe
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Camster, tell us about the brazillion laydays. Or the McKinsey whimsey hires. Why'd I go into corporates - it's the world of the early middle age.
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In honour of the OP....
Camster who worked in Brazil
Was worried he was over the hill
But he made his first million
From a sponsored Brazilian
A close shave that gave him a thrill
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....continued from cool
.....close shave that gave him a thrill
-----------------------------------------------------------
His partner tho' got into some trouble
Developed an allergy to his fine stubble
If it wasn't for the fact he was rich
She'd have abandoned him cos of her itch
He's now on the beck and call at the double
-----------------------------------------------------------
Mr cool over to you - what a team !
DC
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Just had to do this - given I got 50 and 100
Feel I have to get the big 200
I would really care
If cool or mars beats me there
Is this OCDeee
Probably - thank you and goodnight from DC
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Yes 200 get in there
And Camster promised a session at #103 if we got to 200
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Hurray! The only thread with more than 200 posts. The best thread ever!
P.S. Been busy with work. Also, some family issues. Chat more tomorrow.
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Just saw the excellent limerick about me about working in Bath, and contemplating the mild irony that I'm actually reading this in the bath....
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On the Heathrow express to get a 10pm flight...crappy
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abc - where are you working?
Anywhere/thing interesting?
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@bravehearted - he told you; he's working in crappy. It's an industrial town in eastern France.
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So..........
Who missed me?
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Hanging out with Jack Straw in T5 lounge
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So.....
It's confirmed. I am actively looking for a new opportunity. Available from end June.
Managed to sneak in an interview while in London, but not successful :(
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TMT. Am not concerned about position/level. Just looking for a UK-based role. Can have high utilisation/billability but preferably UK projects.
I really can be ar**d to go back into industry :(
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Think I heard FTI were hiring in TMT recently, and Cap seem to be scaling up on the M.
Will put my thinking hat on Camster.
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Ah, ok. Not the sector I'm in unfortunately.
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Yeah, FTI, they are essentially starting up a proper TMT practice. We did discuss this. I don't know if there is any value in a new practice. The market is already flooded........
Ideally, would love a role like, say, strategy manager/director/head in Coca-Cola, etc. Or a turnaround role with Dell. Sick of the usual bog standard industry roles.
I guess you can't really be too picky given current times.
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Camster rather than just looking for the ideal role in ads etc, why not design the role, model what the ROI would be, and take it to the organisations you think could benefit? Being that proactive really does work.
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Totally agree with mars. take control. You'll be happier in something that's only 70% of what you've designed than 100% of what someone else designed.
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Hey Camster
Sorry to hear this but on the positive front I found the UK market surprisingly good this year - could've had a few different options in the end so look at this as an opportunity
DC
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Camster rather than just looking for the ideal role in ads etc, why not design the role, model what the ROI would be, and take it to the organisations you think could benefit? Being that proactive really does work.
Mars,
This is what I tried to do in the recent interview. But they wanted to go down the usual route of make presentation, case , etc. This pisses me off, 'cos at a more senior level, you want to be able to show what you can bring to the table, as opposed to solving a stupid market sizing question and whatnot.
I can't believe I flew all the way back from SP, via NYC, extremely knackered, my own cost, just for that! On the plus side, at least I knew it was the wrong role and place.
DC,
Yeah, seems to be improving in the UK, but the TMT space is pretty bad. Quite a bit of consolidation going on.
The thing is, I have offers from Asia and elsewhere. Even from the client here! Also, with the parent company in Mexico! But am hoping for a UK-centric role. Which leads me to believe that I need to go into industry (maybe outside TMT even).
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I take your point Camster but you need to be designing in the role before the interview not trying to lead it that way in process. Look at just the same way you would want to structure a consulting project proposal - you'll be wanting to get ahead of the client/hiring manager and present a value case for their investment.
I often advise that a telephone conversation prior to commencing the formal process is useful - gives both sides a chance to set the agenda, and you can ascertain from that whether you will have that 70% scope Cool points to, without any commitment from your side to pursue the process if it looks to be too prescriptive.
But taking an offer outside the UK might not be a bad option currently.
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Thanks Mars! This was in fact, my takeaway.
I guess no point wasting my or company's money flying over for an interview, when I could have determined at an earlier stage if the role was right or not.
Saying that, I felt like I could sway things in the interview. Guess I was wrong and I think they were rigid in what they wanted.
And no, I was not asking for more €€€. Was happy with a 'lower' position, etc. Or maybe..... they just didn't believe me - lol.
Anyway, time to get cracking. Have a great day!
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http://www.economist.com/news/business/21577376-world-grows-more-confusing-demand-clever-consultants-booming-brainy
I've always said that a pure strategy play won't cut it these days.
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Is this the best thread ever on Top-Consultant.com?
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Why so bored dear, you can make thread and start discussion on any thing. If you have any issue then you can discuss.
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I agree with Abigail, in what was a very insightful comment.
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Why so bored dear, you can make thread and start discussion on any thing. If you have any issue then you can discuss.
Which was the very purpose of this thread. Let's discuss why I'm bored.
On another note, guys and gals, what are your thoughts if one joins a current client soon after leaving? Just wondering.....
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On another note, guys and gals, what are your thoughts if one joins a current client soon after leaving? Just wondering.....
My thoughts are "congratulations" to the consultant, shame on the client for poaching staff, and pity for the consultancy that let a client get one over on them.
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My thoughts are this would be a dream come true. I'd relax, leave at 5 and make my current boss beg for scraps of work at my desk like a dog...
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...make my current boss beg for scraps of work at my desk like a dog...
LOL! Man! You're evil :)
Now..... to add fuel to the fire..... what if this consultant-turned-client-employee decides that the endeavour is better served by terminating the current engagement, and going in a different direction with different people? LOL!
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Something I've done and taken great pride in.
The firm feels they've lost an employee but gained an account.
No greater feeling than going "actually I don't think you're quite, what we're looking for"
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Heh heh heh
Yeah, it's like going to those alumni events where you can tell people that used to have a lot of power over you but now have none, what you REALLY thought of them.
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I also then take pride in receiving the BD calls, pulling the pitches to pieces... I've just realised, I'm not a normal person.
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I would NEVER throw an ex-employer out immediately after joining a client as an employee. It marks you as vindictive, the pleasure is fleeting and the failure of the next mob in is linked to YOUR decision.
Instead, take pleasure making the consultancy actually deliver what they promised, make them replace the B-team with the A-team, discount invoices for shoddy work. All the time secretly undermine them in steering meetings. Finally, and sadly accept the comments of your stakeholders that despite your loyal attempts to turn your ex-colleagues around, they'll have to go.
You the run the RFI for their replacements completely devoid of blame...
Evil chuckling galore....
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Don't forget to waste hours, days and weeks of their time getting them to write you very detailed proposals for work that ends up going nowhere. Give them feedback like "let's turn it on its head" or "it needs more detail".
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Well got the Barrie on accepted an offer and several grand to the good - happy days - and it clear blue sky and sunny - no kidding but I am very north and west at the moment
Basically got 4 months money from last lot but only 2 days when I didn't have a role - will make sure I do euro millions tonight
Have taken business from previous employer a while back - loved it
Tom - your my sort of consultant
DC
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mange tout DC mange tout - new role?
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Cool,
We are good people - we'd never do these things.
But it's sure nice to have an imagination :) Muahahahaha....
DC,
Well done, mate! Congrats.
Enjoy the weekend, guys and gals.
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Lie has speed but truth has endurance.
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Just read on the Telegraph. Germany inviting UK youth over to get into apprenticeships, etc. Oh, and find love at the same time. Maybe Brave might be interested? :p
Also, Japan Gov. offering free scholarships to students to go and study there.
What does the UK do? Idiots!
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Procrastinating, i.e. browsing top-consultant.com
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I was just wondering.....
Which consultancy has the best looking men and women?
Any such 'study' ever done?
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Hmm. Self employed contractors that no longer work for large consultancies consistently score highly in the hot talent evaluation.
Ahem....
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Hmm. Self employed contractors that no longer work for large consultancies consistently score highly in the hot talent evaluation.
Ahem....
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Un-effin-believable!
Now that I've accepted and moved my a**e to BR, I get a number of calls re. opportunities in the UK.
I say that again. Un-effin-believable!
Anyway... stay safe ppl. I anticipate a very chaotic summer - and beyond.
Enjoy the weekend! I know I will ..... NOT! Missus in Aruba for meeting. Don't want to pop down and see me. Don't blame her :(
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Have a good week everyone!
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Prepping for another interview so god help me. Can anybody advice whether I can talk about the fact that I run a business in my free time. I think it will show that I am entrepreneurial, but do you think that'll be interpreted as professionally distracting?
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Depends on the employer - if it's a small or niche firm they maybe more receptive. If it's a big4 or the like they don't like distractions. Saying that I interviewed with a big4 recently and they were happy with me having my own business as it was a gap filler between redundancies, and the recruiter I used explained it was a family business.
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Thanks - so I figured. It's a big4 so maybe i'll keep schtum.
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In 2000, I interviewed a guy who claimed to have created spain's "biggest search engine". The URL didn't work.
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That's ok. Half of Spain isn't working at the moment....
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Been scrolling since 8:30. Whew, can we implement pages please?
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Hi all,
Just making sure that the 'best thread ever' remains in its rightful place.
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Where the eff is everyone???
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Just making sure that the best thread ever remains at its rightful place.
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OK - I will add the first update for a while...
Just back from a sales trip to Dubai, Abu Dhabi, Doha with a mountain of work to sift through and too tired to even think about it. So obviously, I am procrastinating by browsing the Top Consultant forum.
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I'm bored again. Can't be a**ed to go in this morning.
Though I must say..... the women here are far better looking compared with what I remember in UK offices. Lol, even that is not motivation enough - rofl!!!
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The best thread continues its excellence into the new year!!!
Woohoo!!! Finally separated! Can enjoy being single. Can date 20 year-olds. In the words of my 'hero', Matthew Mcconaughey,
"College girls. We grow older. They stay the same age" :)
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Why is everyone so quiet?
So..... I think 2014 is the year I call time. Want to return to the UK, do eff all, spend more time at home, enjoy life.
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Talking to yourself Camster?
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I spent all of 2013 scrolling down this thread. Now that I'm here, I can't say it was worth my time.
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I want to be a pornstar. I know I'll be really good at it.
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think of the health and safety forms! :D
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Camster
Before you do, you should read my book, "Biting Pillows: Taking One For the Team", the unofficial handbook of Consultancy.
Chapter Seven deals with the practicalities of earning extra money during extended bench time.
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Cool,
Interesting read! I particularly like Chapter 8: Are you a Prostitute or a Consultant?
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Possibly, but not definitively.
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So.....
What do you guys think about Whatsapp's announcement on adding voice?
Procrastinating a bit. Got some s**t to do, but I hate going through LRIC models.
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Need questions to these:
1. I am Cool.
2. Doctor Who?
3. Mars.
4. WC.
5. 911.
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Camster - I do believe you are being paid by TC to revive old threads! Let the dead lie peacefully!!
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Arby,
So, you mean RIP?
What does RIP stand for?
Some say..... Rest in Peace.
I say..... Rise if Possible!
Muahahahahahahaha.................
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What's the difference between a woman and a computer?
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I'm guessing you have no idea....
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been reading this forum for a fair while and decided to register and contribute.
Great forum chaps and chapettes, keep it up.
KOL
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been reading this forum for a fair while and decided to register and contribute.
Great forum chaps and chapettes, keep it up.
KOL
Wonderful! Another one who signed up solely on the strength on this very thread. I am a happy man :)
Anyway, who missed me? Been a bit busy.
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FFS! Did no one miss me???????????????????????????
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Welcome on board Camster - always nice to hear of someone new signing up.
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I'm about to start a new job, going from one consultancy to another.
(i won't bore everyone with the usual jargon around money, position or any other focused questions)
so i've decided to email CityAm's "big movers" section. Obviously i'm just a tiny cog in a giant wheel. But worth a shot at fame i feel.
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Why not! I still have a framed cutting of the Basingstoke Gazette announcing my new position as Head of Financial Services at Dodgy Start Up Ltd
Made my dear old ma so proud...
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(i won't bore everyone with the usual jargon around money, position or any other focused questions)
shame the usual jargon is my oxygen all this new stuff just surprises me and makes me flatulent
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Almost 300 posts! Hehehehehehe...................
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Currently sat in Brera in CW reading the internet.
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Currently setting up time code for scrolling down this thread.
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I do enjoy a bit of Brera!
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On the bench for the first time in 8 years, seems to be a bit of a drought at my level despite me squeezing my network. Currently acting as interviewer extraordinaire!
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Chasing new business - seems to be my life these days
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Facing boar Monday after amazing weekend...:) :(
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having a monotonous life.
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An idle mind is the devil's workshop.
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Hi Camster how's it going - you've been quiet for a while but noticed you are active again ? Where in totty heaven are you currently ? If you say Rio doing some TMT stuff for world cup will be really envious.
I'm out of telecoms again- got a good bonus out of it tho' and back to PPM.
DC
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Hi DC,
How are you?
Yeah, I heard TMT consulting in the UK/EU is slow.
Am still doing TMT. In industry though, in LatAm, been here for a bit. Mexico City is not the best place in the world. Fortunately, my base is the Brazilian OpCo in Sao Paulo and I should be back there soon.
Been very busy. Also, not been in the best of health. For some reason, I tend to fall ill when in HQ in MX. Not sure if it's simply the poor air quality or the stress I get here - lol.
Thank god there's decent internet! VPN'd into home network, so I can at least watch some movies (and English programmes!) on SkyGo.
The plus side is..... I've scored my WC closing ceremony / final ticket. Am rather chuffed. Lol, there are some benefits I guess.
Anyway, wanna get back to Conjuring. Want to make full use of these few days off 'ill' :)
Am back in August. If you fancy a pint (or two or more), it'll be great :)
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Reading the Helicopter Views blog. It's just about the only fun site my client site hasn't blocked on the firewalls yet.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJqimlFcJsM
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Writing up PowerPoint slides with a kripsy kreme "world cup" donut in my mouth. Great day.
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I have a couple of days off and just set up a new BBQ in the garden so that I am ready for Saturday's epic sport. Now all I need is a few beers to go with this good weather :)
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Just getting number 300 on here.
DC
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300! Woohoo! Recently watched that sequel to the 300 movie. Blimey! Eva Green is nice!!!
Anyway..... what's new, DC? On my end, fingers crossed and touch wood, I'll land that role in South-East Asia.
OK then, time for a bit of SkyGo.
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300! Woohoo! Recently watched that sequel to the 300 movie. Blimey! Eva Green is nice!!!
Maybe I'll have to watch it just for her...heard it was shoite otherwise...
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#303 here.
checking emails. flushing them out before they overflow.
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camster
how did closing ceremony go ? unfortunately,i'm on contract in grim north so I have got myself 40 quid b&b plus evening meal and some local talent - don't you just love this jet set life style we lead - except you of course - lat am women, global events and probably big bucks - got a team bq tomorrow night can't wait
dc
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Wow Camster! Your projects are so posh they have a closing ceremony!?!?
If my clients did that we might even be motivated to complete delivery on one of our rolling, never ending projects
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Hehehe.
Yeah, and they come complete with Brazilian models :-)
Who's up for a drink or two tomorrow? I'm buying.
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And so..... the extended break comes to an end :(
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All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go.....
I'll miss London Soho, but I won't go Loco.....
La la la laaaaa...... la la laaaaaa....... la la laaa........
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Checking for interesting threads..good day, happy journey to people who planning for day out and vacations. Enjoy guyssssss.
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Another week, another roll off - I miss the days where I used to stay at the same client for a number of years.
Head still hurting from South African dinner last night...
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Hello people!!!
Who missed me?
Back till the weekend only though. Passing through...
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Camster
You've been away ? If you go again tell us so we know :-) How are things ?
DC
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Hi DC,
Things could be better.
TMT, or telecoms rather, in a bad spot.
Such is life!
What about you? How's the UK/EU market doing?
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Camster
Yes I flirted with Telecoms earlier this year too but ended up back to Government which is good at moment. Perhaps you could take the advice I've been giving out on following thread
http://forum.top-consultant.com/UK/89444/10/What-Next/
Other than that put 6G expert on your CV !
DC
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DC,
Am off tomorrow. I hope you don't miss me too much :)
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Wow! This thread is nearly 2 years old.
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Is this the longest ever post ?!
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Is this the longest ever thread ?!
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DC,
Am off tomorrow. I hope you don't miss me too much :)
You do know the internet works pretty much worldwide right? You don't need to be in a specific location to post here...
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DC,
Am off tomorrow. I hope you don't miss me too much :)
You do know the internet works pretty much worldwide right? You don't need to be in a specific location to post here...
Wow! Really? I didn't know that! Why didn't anyone tell me???
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You should have hired a consultant to advise you on these things. I don't know where you would find one though......
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I'll find just the one you need Camster, but will cost you many dolla :)
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I provided that insightful nugget out of my BD budget, now if you need any more advice and potentially a 10 year BPO deal then I could offer that on a reasonable commercial basis.
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DC,
Am off tomorrow. I hope you don't miss me too much :)
You do know the internet works pretty much worldwide right? You don't need to be in a specific location to post here...
Frio you muppet! Camster is probably going back to Brazil, where the Internet is all in portugalese. How many people on this forum do you reckons speak portugalese!?
Try to think things through next time ...BEFORE you post!
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The best thread ever is 2 years old!
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What I'm upto is plodding through a project where the client is either clueless or just can't be bothered. This manifests itself in me being either micro-managed or given absolutely no direction. In the worst cases it's actually both at once.
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I'm bored.................................................
Where's DC? Mars? Cool?
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I've not been my usual contributory self. I blame the Government.
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That's right. If they didn't take two-thirds of our income via a variety of methods (some more obvious than others), we could get by with working just 2 days a week.
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But I DO work two days a week??
Oh! You mean only bill for two days a week?! What a quaint idea...
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I'm over here and up to.....
About to fire an under performing contractor.
Silently Enjoying one of the threads where I have inside knowledge
Using CapitaL LETters ranDomly
Coaching a contact who wants to get into contract roles
Planning my holidays
Planning next tax year
Panning my project
Looking out for half a dozen new hires to build out my team
Varied days at the moment.
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I'm in the office drafting a diagnostic report for a client that is 80% 'give me your watch and I'll tell you the time' and 20% insight. Mostly driven by the client wanting a larger team for a VERY short period rather than a smaller team for a longer period.
Nice to finally share what I'm up to on this thread...
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sitting in front of my laptop...
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everything ...in accounting term ..board meeting
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I am reading currently for my best groving career
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Trying to nurture the seedling of a relationship while facing the reality of my next project being ~4 or 5 hours' drive from home
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Wow! This is such an incredible thread. Talk about staying power! Form is temporary but class is permanent - a classy thread indeed.
Kudos!
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Back in the UK. Anyone up for a drink or two?
Will be moving my a**e back, with no role at hand. Any tips most appreciated.
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Is camster still bored two years on?
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Bored? On and off. Thing is... ppl are not responding to my wumming, especially on newspaper sites.
Oh well... time for new nicknames.
Btw, what happened to Anon MC? I miss him :-)
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This amazing thread has really stood the test of time. Hehe!
So... I am off to Mexico in a bit. Slight delay, so have a couple more weeks. Failed to secure anything in the UK with lesser travel. Am a 'contractor' now. Don't know if this is a smart thing to do. Let's see...
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Mehico .... Can you advise us on here what's best option for Axminster and Linoleum? Mexicans know there underlay ye ha
Twice I've used that line on here in matter of weeks....
Good luck
DC
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My folks decided to move to the UK, since my little sister is here, new nephew, etc. Yeah, yeah, they did the "typical foreigner" thing. Bought a place in London (even though spending more time in Scotland) and inflating London prices, etc.
Wanting a UK base with less travel, I've tried to secure a UK role since the new year.
Here are some of the feedback I've received:
- You're over-qualified for this role. Don't know if you will stay long. This coming from a company where I was told the attrition rate is something like 70%.
- You're too good for this job. We are looking for someone less capable. Exact words!!!
- You don't have recent UK working experience. DUH! It's clearly in the CV. If so, why call me for in for interviews??? I know I am good-looking, but surely there are better ways to waste time? I kid you not! I replied as such.
- Etc.
Interestingly, some good friends and ex-colleagues told me that I needed to "dumb down" my CV.
I despair. What is the UK coming to???
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Hi Cams,
Mars is probably best at helping you on this, but my thoughts:
WHat type of companies are you going for at the moment? They seem a bit mickey mouse if thats their feedback. My reasoning:
Management Consultancies - in general, they have jobs from Consultant to Partner level. Depending on your experience and qualifications (plus interview), they decide at which level you are a best fit. There is no "you are over qualified". I suggest going for the biggies but also trying the smaller consultancies, they are all hiring at the moment
Banks - Job will be at a certain level. If you go for "Project Manager" role when you have 10+ years of experience on Programme Management, then yes they may say you are over qualified and you would know why the answer is what they say?
PS Do you have an EU passport? Makes a big difference.
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All industry roles. For example, the first bullet point is a small-ish operator, but the 2nd one is a big mobile operator.
But you are right in that I should look at MC, hence the "serious question" thread.
Yup. EU passport. Can also get 'naturalised' and hence a UK passport... but why would I want to insult myself like that? LOL! (joking!) In a wumming mood.
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EU passport - in that case you should be fine and dandy
MCs might be a good option for you, usual Big 4 but would also try out the smaller consultancies. BEP is a fan and can give you a heads up on them.
Plus you still get to do the travelling.
Best of luck and I reckon you will be fine.
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Banks - Job will be at a certain level. If you go for "Project Manager" role when you have 10+ years of experience on Programme Management, then yes they may say you are over qualified and you would know why the answer is what they say?
In this case, how would you turn it around? Let's say it's a contract, you know that you can easily do the role well, happy with the rate, etc. Why would they not want to get someone who exceeds what is needed?
I went for something similar. It beggared belief when I was told that they were "looking for someone less capable". WTF? It's a bloody contract and I made it clear that I was happy with rate, would stay until they didn't renew contract, etc.
Have no luck in the UK :( It's all my sins coming home to haunt me :D
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In this case, how would you turn it around? Let's say it's a contract, you know that you can easily do the role well, happy with the rate, etc. Why would they not want to get someone who exceeds what is needed?
I went for something similar. It beggared belief when I was told that they were "looking for someone less capable". WTF? It's a bloody contract and I made it clear that I was happy with rate, would stay until they didn't renew contract, etc.
Are you sufficiently argumenting why you want to stay even if it looks like you're "overqualified"? From their perspective, any potential candidate will claim to be willing to stick around until the contract is not renewed. Maybe specifically put the topic on the table, say that a few other companies had this issue, then explain why you want the stability,... whatever it is that you expect will keep you happy there for a longer period.
Not sure whether things have changed but I've seen many cases where banks kept extending contracts for several years so they may be worried that you'll only stay until the current contract timing expires which would be a risk of losing knowledge / experience for them.
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Yup. I always address their pain points and what I can do to help. Then address their concerns, especially on sticking around, the fact that I am happy with the role and contract and rate, etc.
Sigh :( Am not making any headway re. UK roles. It's terribly frustrating. Even more so given the excuses I get.
For the time being, I have an 8-week overseas contract coming up soon. Will probably end up being 10 weeks. Decent rate.
Thankfully, am also getting rental income from sole London pad that was not taken off me. LOL, everything else went to missus. Got to love UK family law.
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Cams,
I appreciate that you think you have addressed their concerns - but the employers will all be thinking the same:
"He's a smooth talker and is saying all the right things, but the CV in front of me tells a whole different story to him sticking to one place..."
Hence I think your best best is to go for a Management Consultancy used to people moving lots (eg Big 4 or some of the medium sized boys), rather than industry roles.
You may have a better chance that way.
Best of luck
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Hi Anon,
I don't believe that for one second... and I say this knowing the industry I play in intimately (oh, and my CV as well :) ).
Got offers from mainland Europe, Asia, LatAm, even my last role there! UK is a different animal. It's not what you know...
You are right though. MC is my best bet. Which is why I asked about current UK MC space in the other thread. I know, I know. Great thread as usual. Then again, does anyone expect anything less? LOL!
Have a good week.
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What horrible luck!
Am meant to have left for LatAm, but came down with high 104 deg fever.
Hope everyone else is having a better week.
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Having a boring day, :-(
Sat in an all day Lawyers meeting debating commas, full stops with a sprinkling of colons.
DC
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Sat in an all day Lawyers meeting debating commas, full stops with a sprinkling of colons.
When you say 'colons', you mean the Lawyers?
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I was exercising the new politically correct me - of course I meant lawyers :-)
DC
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Oh dear
yet another day with lawyers - just debated for half an hour the use of the apostrophe
Bidders' solutions' or bidder's solution's etc etc
DC
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throw a glass of water over them. Colonic irrigation.
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Once again, DC was spot on. Swindon is full of girls! Just go to the town centre around lunch-ish.
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Lie has speed... but truth has endurance!
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Providing Management Consulting Services in Following Areas:
1. Strategic Management
2. Legal Service
3. Information Technologies
4. Financial Management
5. Product and Operation Management
6. Sales and Marketing Management
7. Human Resource Management
Working at Four Feathers Group - Top Management Consultants
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Rolling off a project I've been on for over 14 months in a couple of weeks. So handing over and advising the team on the many, massive, deeply ingrained, structural, leadership and capability issues they will face in the next year. And wishing them luck as I sip my 15th cup of tea (Marlboro Gold replacement)
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Even though nothing’s ever posted on here anymore...I still come on every day. As I have done for more than ten years. Weird.
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If you're honest with yourself, you'd admit that you come on here in the hope of seeing a message from a certain Camster.
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