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Stressed out or 'in the flow' - How well do you manage yourself?

 
#1 Stressed out or 'in the flow' - How well do you manage yourself?
11/10/2002 00:00

Tony Mann

I have been often struck by the irony when I see highly talented consultants create fundamental improvements within their clients' businesses but relentlessly work themselves into the ground, often leading to serious difficulties for themselves and their private lives.

These people are strategic thinkers, are able to manage complex projects and are often required to deal sensitively with difficult situations, but pressures and stress can lead to quite different behaviours in their personal lives - work/life imbalance.

Is what I have seen typical?

Is this applicable to you?

How well do you manage yourself?

I am an established business and personal coach, looking to understand the particular issues that consultants and their businesses battle with, and how I can best help to address them.

In order to help me achieve my goal I am offering a limited number of free one hour face to face consultations within a 30 mile radius of London. These meetings will create an opportunity for me to learn more about your issues as a consultant and allow you to experience coaching on a subject of your choice.

For those who are interested, but are further afield, we can organise to talk via telephone and/or e-mail.

Please e-mail me with your contact details for further information or to arrange a meeting

Tony Mann

tony@e-quanimity.co.uk

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#2 Re: Stressed out or 'in the flow' - How well do you manage yourself?
17/10/2002 00:00

Erik Andriessens

Hi Tony,

I red your message and a hit home that I was one of these people you described. I used to work for Arthur D.Little, which as we all know by now went bust. When I worked there, I had to deal with moving to a new country(USA to Belgium, Learn Dutch, Deal with my wife's entry issues, take care of all the administrative stuff, the house, run engagements while the company is going down the drain...In short, it got too much and I had a severe nervous breakdown which took 2 years to recover from. So, today I work as an independent...The morality of the story is that these consulting firms can eat you up if you are not careful. The second point is that there is a hughe amount of disfucntionality which prevents these same people who preach to companies what to do to take care of their own business issues. I think ADL is only the first of many to go down that path...

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#3 Re: Stressed out or 'in the flow' - How well do you manage yourself?
17/10/2002 00:00

Varun Gupta

hi,

well this is something which is unique to almost every suceessful person in whatever field. it requires to be a gunius to manage the professional and personal life with a proper balance. this is what creates a difference between a successful and happy person. you have to get your priority right to decide what you want;happiness or success, both rarely come together.

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#4 Re: Stressed out or 'in the flow' - How well do you manage yourself?
17/10/2002 00:00

brackish jack

I agree with Varun. You can let consulting (or any other business) consume you, or you can strike a balance. Striking a balance can be difficult for some who let the company assimilate their life. These consulting firms will push you until you have nothing left to give and are a burned out shell of a person. Sometimes, you just have to say "no, its too much." Some people are, intuitively, better able to manage themselves in the consulting business. Those who can go with the flow, can multi-task themselves, and are ruthless with personal time management have an easier time than those who are easily rattled or don't manage their time well.

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#5 Re: Stressed out or 'in the flow' - How well do you manage yourself?
18/10/2002 00:00

Tony Mann

Hi Varun - thanks for your comments -I agree with you. Part of my toolkit as a coach is extensive NLP training which centres on helping people model successful behaviours. If therefore I am going to help a consultant achieve a more congruent balance, I should perhaps identify some individuals who have achieved this combined happiness and success?

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#6 Re: Stressed out or 'in the flow' - How well do you manage yourself?
18/10/2002 00:00

Tony Mann

Hi Erik - thanks for your reply. Firstly it is great that you have come through your experience and can both reflect and share your learning!! I guess the issue I am focusing on is firstly: How to give people an opportunity to stop and reflect on these potential dangers and then secondly helping them manage the situation for themselves so that they achieve both success and happiness - as they define it.

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#7 Re: Stressed out or 'in the flow' - How well do you manage yourself?
27/07/2006 11:20

sonia pottecher

Erik, we all have to deal with the stress, it is a compromise in our busy lifes. No wonder that the ethic situation of the managers influences our life and the quality of our work.

But it is worse to deal with having lost friends for almost 20 years now!!!.

Please get in touch, will you and Nam?.

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#8 RE: Stressed out or 'in the flow' - How well do you manage yourself?
27/07/2006 13:03

Village Idiot to Erik Andriessens (#2)

> Deal with my wife's entry issues

That sounds like it needs a doctor!

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#9 RE: Stressed out or 'in the flow' - How well do you manage yourself?
27/07/2006 13:33

Kenneth Williams to Village Idiot (#8)

Oooooh matron !!

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#10 RE: Stressed out or 'in the flow' - How well do you manage yourself?
28/07/2006 11:44

hardhat to Erik Andriessens (#2)

Erik

Thanks for that message. This issue should not only be about individual consultants and their families, as you are probably aware. Alot of firms have consulting teams that troubleshoot and some people get hit in the virtual psychological cross-fire. Learning another language can be very hard if you are also consulting.

I generally welcome specialists attempting to help consultants.

Humour sometimes helps to solve some misunderstandings

Uullllllnnoehhhe!

However why were many of the top comics of the previous generation sufferers of the psychological illnesses that have now been increasingly diagnosed in many industries?

Stopping people to make people think is difficult at times. If you want to know if your stress levels are too high you should contact a specialist.

My apologies for not being ignorant, a specialist, or very funny.

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#11 RE: Stressed out or 'in the flow' - How well do you manage yourself?
28/07/2006 11:56

I've found a solution to Tony Mann (#1)

this is a real problem...I have suffered due to a complete overload within the personal affairs. However, I found a solution in a book called "Getting Things Done" by David Allen.

Yes, it is an American self-help book. Yes, such books can be toe-curlingly corny but this one is actually very practical. I recommend it highly.

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#12 RE: Stressed out or 'in the flow' - How well do you manage yourself?
28/07/2006 16:25

It could be better than mine to I've found a solution (#11)

Thanks for letting us know I've found a solution.

If anyone else is interested the Daniel Goleman book Emotional Intelligence book is very interesting. It sets out the case for Why it can matter more than IQ, and also 'shows precisely how emotional intelligence can be nurtured and strengthened in all of us.' Goleman knows his stuff and quotes many sources like T.Shriver who says 'A rising tide lifts all boats.'

The Allen book sounds good as well. If you accept the premise that logic can fail in todays world and that when it does the consequences can be terrible, then a self-help book is a practical way of getting things done again and presumably doing them better. It could be better than mine!

What is less clear is how serious a psychological problem is, particularly in the career context where it might even present an opportunity to others. That has to be to an extent about our grey areas of knowledge regarding the mind and also because so much of our understanding is comparatively recent (more so than with many other areas of health).

My guess would be that you should contact someone like Tony Mann if you need more specialist advice on business and personal coaching.

However it is not a problem unique to the consulting industry by any means.

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